Alaskan Cruise’26: The Final Day
We slept in. After my morning ablutions (a fancy word for taking a shit), we had a quick room service breakfast. Room service being a requirement for all vacations.
Then, Wendi went back to the Spa Doc to make sure her facial was progressing nicely. And upsell more products and/or procedures.
I remember our 2019 couples massage being rather stressful from all the upselling. File that under ironic.
A lazy day. The ship seems empty. At least the spa does. I’m mentally starting the Final Departure Protocol.
• This means starting to mental catalog where all our stuff is.
• Taking a visual inventory of everything we’ve bought (artwork), was given (more art work), panned for (gold) or stolen and smuggled aboard (rocks).
• Deciding what entertainments we still have time for (Beatles).
• Attempting to consume all the consumables in the fridge. (2 yogurts, a banana, an orange, and maybe 5 half liter bottles of water. We very foolishly got a 24 case on our first day and have been desperately chugging as much as possible these last couple days. Yesterday was a personal record of 5.
• And starting to plan how to get everything, including the new stuff into the same luggage that was filled to bursting last Monday.
But this spa bed is so nice. And there’s the sauna, steam room, and cool room…
12:13 Wednesday Morning
My packing is done and now I am helpfully staying out of Mrs. Hardy’s way. Hers is the more involved process.
The final meal at Cagney’s Steakhouse was delicious. I went for the seafood. Wendi the steak. We’ve both sworn off rich foods till the high school reunion in 5 weeks. Just over a month to get back to at least our pre-cruise bodies.
The Beatles show was okay. We both agreed that last night’s Cavern Club seemed more like a..an actual performance you might see in a dingy little club. (Like we’re speaking from experience.)
We’ll be in Seattle in just over six hours and home in maybe eight, depending on the Bremerton Ferry schedule. Also depending on how fast I can move with 3 layers of clothing.
We’re both relieved we can just walk off the boat and to the ferry. No worrying about checked luggage or making it to the airport on time.
It’s been a fun trip; hands down the best cruise we’ve ever had* but as with every trip, we’re very eager to come home to the house, cats, good internet, and a more healthy routine. And never spending any money. Hope Xander wants some art for his upcoming birthday. Or maybe some contraband Alaskan rocks. 🪨
Especially a more healthy routine. We have our high school reunion in a month and we’re hoping for smugness. Wendi did a reasonably good job at not going nuts at the Garden Buffet. We certainly followed NCL health and safety guidelines. The man stationed at the buffet’s entrance screaming “WASHY!! WASHY!!” while hitting a tambourine helped remind us.
And with adequate Dude Wipes for all the young dudes. For cleaning your hands before and after eating. Are you all taking a piss?
Still, as an added personal prophylactic, I continued use of my “Reverse Bedouin” Anti-Bacterial/Viral Protocol. Worked like a charm.
(Definition of the above term can be found in the author’s previous Alaskan Travelogue at the foolhardy.com. Be advised: It’s possible some of my more sensitive readers may find the a tad offensive. [Be More Advised; It’s probably that most of you will.])
I may have some final notes tomorrow but I’ve already got plenty written down. At least some of it should be intelligible so perhaps a spot of editing.
Brian, the
Whirled Traveler
Signing Off.
*This is a joke.
PS: crap. Seems it just means cleaning your body. That might explain the puzzled looks..
One language error I’ve just had corrected this trip: a multi-decade mistake is a favorite phrase of both Tina Wendi: “Drop Trow”.
A couple days ago, Wendi explained it was short for “Drop Trousers”. An informal way to explain you need to use the bathroom.
For decades, I thought the Heath Women were saying an abbreviated version of “Drop Trout”. As in dropping a fish-shaped douce into the toilet.
….
Upon long overdue reflection, it really would be out of character for my elegant mother-in-law to announce a description of her fecal matter before excusing herself. Waaay out of character. That seems a more Hardy thing.
Live and learn.