Work Rantings
In 1999, I was hired on as a Resource Room teacher at an Puget Sound area elementary school with a large military population. After a few year of that, I made the switch over to 5th grade, where I have remained ever since. Most parts of the job are a delight but there are a few aspects which are less than great. I'll usually do anything to get out of such drudgery; including sending my colleagues thrilling accounts of all my adventures out Potable #49.
Alarm Going Off? Here’s What Not to Do
Fun fact: Your fob might unlock the doors but NOT turn the alarm system off. I speak from experience.
If that happens, your dusty old school code; the one you used to use waaay back in 2019, might not turn off the screaming alarm system. Again, speaking from experience.
Mysterio Undies
At about 3:15, KM comes over to me and blithely tells me there are two mysterious pairs of underwear in her backpack. Which she hands to me. Now, a student who saw all this, let's just call him "JP", being the problem solving wiz, tells me to just put them in the Gear Adrift Box.
Dear Firearm Safety Guy
I’m glad you are a longtime safety instructor and no doubt my son will learn a lot from you. However, please don’t take my mentioning that I am a public school teacher as an invitation to start lecturing me on what’s wrong with Common Core or graduation requirements or….. really anything on the topic. You see, we are not equals in this discussion.
We’ve Grown Accustomed
After taking this guttersnipe into our loving arms and teaching her the basics of English, our Eliza B-Little has decided to run off to another school. Who needs her???
Fridge Saga Conclusion
Mixed emotions here. The lower portion of the refrigerator was not too shabby. Not great but I didn’t feel to the need to hose off afterwards.
Another Year Another Fridge Saga
This morning, local authorities were notified of a potentially grave danger at a local elementary school. Specialized Disaster Response Teams, at the county, state and Federal level will be called in next week to assess and deal with this toxic situation.
“It’s a damnable stinky situation!” said SSgt. Wink Tinkleson of the Washington State Hideous Appliance Task Force (WaSHATF) , “Some of those victuals have been in there since the Obama Administration! I’ve known many a (5th grade) teacher and they’ll eat anything put in front of them! Or really, put anywhere near them!”
Refrigerator Excavations
Folks,
Next week, Mrs S. and I will have Staff Duty and I have decided to take the job of cleaning out the fridges.
Since they were never cleaned out over the summer, there still items from 2015-2016 in there.
Yesterday, while unsuccessfully rooting around for my Emergency Burrito, I found half an ice cream sandwich.
Half an ice cream sandwich….
And a bag of somewhat melted popsicles got stuck to my hand.
Refrigerator Excavations Part Two
Okay, I’ve settled down now.
And just washed my hands for the 87th time.
It actually went more quickly today. Just a few things of note.
First, what’s with all the syrup? Was there a great Syrup Panic 3 or 4 years ago; causing someone here to want to stock up?
End of Day Scene – 5th Grade
The Place: Room 49.
The Time: Roughly 1:30.
The People: Mr. Hardy sitting at the Bean Table surrounded by anxious students.
The Situation: Many, many 5th graders have a mere 15 minutes with which to take their AR quiz and/or math homework. After that, the assignments are missing and students will start their spring break with a Red Light.