Whistler 2015 - Part 2

Back home in 'Merica now. Starting to get that "Spring Break's Almost Over" Feeling but I thought I'd put down a few notes on the second half of the trip up north. 

Tuesday went well; though more by accident than plan. Once we all rolled out of bed and had breakfast- brunch, really, our morning was getting close to being over. We had two more items left to do. There was the Britannia Mine Tour and the snow mobiling. The first we could do whenever and the second was scheduled for late afternoon. The mine tour took a bit of driving south so we had originally planned to stop there on our way home on Wednesday. That would have been the logical, time efficient thing to do but that would have left us with an unscheduled afternoon.

(The horror, the horror...)

So it was off to a tour of what was once the British Empire's largest copper mine. It closed in the early 70s and then has been a museum/guided tour since the 80s. And it was pretty cool. 

Okay, the mine part wasn't nearly long enough. We were underground for all of 40 minutes and didn't descend far enough for my taste. (Like Balrog-level.) 

However, we did get to see a bit of what the mining life was like decades ago. Don't let Hollywood fool you folks; it wasn't all glamor. 

There were the loud, dangerous drilling machines.

And the other machines.

Note: The two things Miner Brian would have brought in overabundance: matches and toilet paper. Actually, I doubt I would have survived the first month of being in charge of the porta-crapper above. Seriously, I prefer the port and starboard urinals to be unoccupied before........

Okay, that may be too much information.

So, after that, we rushed back to Whistler for our snow mobile adventure. Despite the lack of snow at the lower elevation, we had a great time once we got into the high country. 

And once got up to the high point of the ride, we took a break and had some time for hot chocolate and hiijinx. 

Well, after that, it was a "Whatever's Left in The Fridge" dinner and then head home the next (late) morning. 

And yes, we did buy a "map" that showed all of wonderful British Columbia and T was able to navigate our way to the border. Granted, I have never heard Google Maps say anything like, 

"So I was watching a documentary on bridges and it said- Oh, shit was that our exit? Uh...no, I think we're okay. Just keep heading that [vague wave of hand] way."

So score another point to humanity!

Our one last hiccup came, you guessed it, at the border crossing. As we approached The Border, I noticed a sign saying "Nexus Border Crossing." Is this the one we want? It specifically says border crossing and the other two lanes don't. Maybe we should stay in this lane?....

We seem to be moving a lot faster than the other two lanes... 

I don't think we're in the right lane. What do we do? 

Some national security agency is probably watching us right now. 

We've got our own drone. 

Well, with fingers crossed and doors locked I whipped us over, though the plastic barriers (which were the self-righting kind, Thank God) into the mundanes' lane. 

And then spent the next very long 20 minutes A) Looking up what the %#¥€! Nexus is (Shock- not us!) B. Silently apologizing to the long line of people we'd cut in front of and finally C) Trying to look/sound very innocent to the 94 cameras, drones, satellites, and sharp shooters focused upon us at that moment.

Guess it worked. We made it. When asked if there was anything to declare, I nonchalantly held up a half-finish bottle of Coke; not mentioning the two Top Ramens we brought back with us. 

Oh yeah, just call me Ice Man! 

Well, that is our Great Northern Adventure. We all had a good time. Lots of new experiences: Skiing. Snowmobiling. Beaver Tails. Mining. Outwitting the border security forces of two great countries.... Xander hasn't called his grandmother yet so I don't know exactly what he found most memorable but he had fun and made lots of memories. 

If they let me back into Canada, I am thinking the Alaska-Canada Highway next. If they let me return to America, I'll tell you all about it.

As we say in this country: 

Yo! 

The Great Explorer Brian.

Sent from The Good Old US of A.

Las Vegas 2013

8/13/2013

Viva Las Vegas!                                        

I have survived our 3 days here at the Las Vegas Grand Vacations. Tomorrow is our potentially most dangerous day; we have nothing planned.  

The flight down was pleasant despite (or possibly because of) the fact that our normally trustworthy Alaska Airlines seated us all over the plane. Xander had to sit with two complete strangers. Yikes. 

However, to ease the terror of possible human contact, I loaded him up with three different electronic entertainment devices. He survived. I was actually just two seats behind him; close enough to use "The Voice" if need be. 

Well, Wendi could have just as effectively used her Voice from her seat 10 rows' back. Hell, the Pilot would probably sit up a bit straighter at that point.

I had a delightful trip seated next to a nanny/semi (more like 'semi-demi') pro darts player named Jen.  (I know: darts, crazy, huh?) She was attending a tournament at one of the non-strip Casinos. We just chatted about darts, kids, being a nanny, where to go in Vegas, what kids need to succeed, the agony of home robbery, the Virgin Islands, out of date from weight loss ID photos and how pathetic rich people who don't want to raise their own kids can be.

I hope she won her tournament. And avoided the Circus Circus buffet. But I will have to accept the fact that I will never know.

Life would be so much less mysterious if I lived in a Romantic Comedy.

We spent much of the first day here exploring this Hilton Grand Vacations site. We are old hands at LV but this is our first staying at the Flamingo location. (Not at The Flamingo itself but at the Hilton Grand Vacations Condos [ HGV] right next to it. Both used to be owned by the Hilton Corporation but about 3 years ago, it sold all its casinos. )

We immediately decided staying on The Strip is a huge improvement over staying at the Karen Ave. property. No longer chained to the Monorail.

And Xander was Extremely Pleased with having his own room, TV, DVD player, kitchen and bathroom and lock. Our friends V and D were originally supposed to join us but had to cancel last minute. Their loss is his gain.  

We spent a bit of time stocking up on breakfast foods from the high priced grocery store here. Top Ramen is 3x its usual price! Outrageous!

That evening we went to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville for dinner. Delicious food and mellow (mostly Jimmy's) music playing in the background. We dined while planning our next day. Please remember this nice dining example. 

Somehow the day had gotten away from us. Xander was quite eager to start taking advantage of all his room's amenities. Fine with us. He watched the first of 1,428 Scooby-Doo episodes on DVD and the Mrs. and I tried out the firm mattress.

One item disappointment has been the Flamingo Pool, which our Condo overlooks. With an especially clear view from the Living Room. According to just about every negative on-line review of HGV@The Flamingo, the Flamingo Casino Pool is a wild Bacchanalian Party every night, with loud music and young, drunk  20-somethings acting poorly. Well, I have spent plenty of time these past 3 days observing for such signs (again, mostly from the living room); ready to be outraged. No such luck. I am very shocked by the shocking lack of, well shocking behavior.

I expected more, darn it!

The next morning, the three of us, all a bit worse for wear from lack of sleep, were limo'd over to one of the 4 Vegas HGV properties to hear their sales pitch. We had avoided such events since 2005, so we figured it was time to see how the corporation could improve our lives. And get a dinner and a show. Wendi still not being employed, we certainly weren't going to BUY anything.

Well, you can probably guess the end of this little story. Our piddling little number of yearly HGV points: 2,400, purchased back in 2001 was such a small amount, it wasn't even on their "HGV Membership Levels" charts. (I didn't want to show my ignorance by asking where our number was and so didn't figure THAT one out till the presentation was just about over.) 

We decided to bump that up to literally the smallest number they now deal with. Speaking as a 5th grade math teacher, we now occupy the minimum value in the data set represented on their Line Graph of Happiness. Sounds good.

What sold us was the argument that this is something Xander will inherit one day and be able to use for his family. He may have not thought through all the implications of this process but he seemed VERY enthusiastic about always having his own room and DVD player in the future.

Our main original reason for going was to learn all the HGV benefits added since 'Ought 5; the biggest of which, we can now buy airline tickets with our points. That's huge. Our $1,500 a night suite may have cost us just a whooping $35 booking fee but plane tickets were many, many times that.

So, we have another small monthly bill. In 5? 10? years, it'll be paid off and we'll return to feeling smug about it.

One thing I take comfort in now is that Xander took FULL advantage of their open buffet. My son; stickin' it to The Man.

Granted, it was slightly embarrassing to see him use his hat as a carrying case for the mound  of cookies and Doritos on our way out.

“Mine! All mine!”

That why guys like me wear cargo shorts.   Man, I love Fig Newtons. So tasty. So compact.

After that, we returned to the Condo to relax, swim, lay in the sun for my maximum 14 minutes, but mostly just ponder the question, "What the hell just happened?"

During this time, both Wife and Son gang-complained at me that the condo is too cold. This is actually the case with ALL indoor spaces here in Sin City but the frigidity of our little plot of Hades seems especially cruel. This is confusing to me so I again tried to explain how to change the temperature in both rooms. I guess it's a bit esoteric but see if you can follow:

·         -Walk to the thermostat.

·         -Press the "Up" arrow to raise the room's temperature and the "Down" arrow to lower it. 

·         -Repeat, as necessary.

It's this sort of Secret Knowledge that, despite our many, glaring flaws,  keeps us in The Whitey Brotherhood on top.  

Well, that and our use of cargo shorts. Go ahead and laugh. Those fig newtons tasted of sweet, sweet entitlement. 

Anyway, it was getting time for dinner.  Which always takes us longer than originally planned. This is thanks to The Better Half. Were it up to moi, my decision process always goes along the lines of "Will there be some sort of 'food substance' in front of me within 12 minutes of my decision to stop at this eating establishment?" 

The Wife is a bit more picky. We had $100 worth of vouchers burning a hole in her fashionable Vegas bag.  She wanted to...(What's the word?...) dine.

She has good memories of Bobby Flay's Mesa grill so we schlepped over there to Caesar's . Upon arriving, Wendi saw the word "Rabbit" on the menu and so, Mr. Flay now finds himself in the same Pantheon of Evil as Hitler, the Guy Who Cancelled "Firefly", and all Gynoticians (A politician who feels more qualified than women and their doctors to make women's health decisions.)

Time To Take Our Business Elsewhere!

A Chines restaurant? (We were at Harrah's at this point.) Nope. I had a brilliant idea. How about Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar And Grill!"? That was close by and, well, to be brutally honest, how could you spend $100 at a place that serves fried Twinkies? Off we went.

WARNING! This eating establishment shall henceforth be known as "Toby Keith's Your Ears Will Bleed Bar and Grill". 

Not sure what the food was like. After 4 minutes of the following sort of dialogue, 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT?!  

"WHAT ABOUT MY FEET?! 

"YOU WANT TO ORDER MEAT? 

"I'M LOSING WILL TO LIVE!!",

 We decided to take our business elsewhere. WERE there a rabbit anywhere around, I am sure they’d keel over quickly. 

Back to the quiet Chinese Restaurant. ("Ming's Table")

Ahhh...Peace. At this point, they could have served us broiled (insert cute animal here) and we would have tipped generously.

By then, it was getting pretty late, at least for us. And the drinks menu was just sitting there. Wendi went with The Volcano, which, almost two days later, still sits unfinished in our fridge. 

The Wife was sure she was finished after three sips. It was a careful walk home.

But the crispy duck was excellent.  

First thing Saturday, we visited the hotel formerly known as the Las Vegas Hilton. It is now known as the Las Vegas Hotel- That way, they needn't replace all the "H"s all over the place. The place has seen better days. To think, this hotel once proudly presented The Star Trek Experience. It even still has a 15' Star Fleet insignia on the side of the building though "the experience" ended 4 or 5 years ago.  Sad, sad, sad.

After that, we followed Wendi as she shopped for wonderful things. One thing I have learned in the past few days  is when you reach your goal weight after a hard year of diet and exercise, Las Vegas is full of wonderful things. I spent our time together trying to mentally map where all her wished for but not purchased items were so I could run back and buy them were I to ever get a free moment. After a bit much of this, she ditched us. The boy and I ambled back home to visit the gym, pool and watch more Scooby-Doo.

That evening's entertainment; again provided by the Hilton Corporation, was The Tournament of Kings, at the Excalibur. A bit of a jaunt from where the two of us were relaxing. This is especially true as the trip involved getting from the rear of the MGM Grand to the front. This is always a struggle; made worse by being in a hurry. As we were. Wendi, still shopping, couldn’t hear her phone from inside her purse when I called her so we got off to a late start. 

But we made it and had a great time. The wife and I had seen the show many years ago but this was X's first go. He started out poo-poo'ing the cheese factor but ended up enthusiastically booing the Dragon Knight along with the rest of us. 

After the show, some of the knights and ladies posed for photos but the lines were too long. Instead, both boy and I took photos of the "Dick's Last Resort" sign, which we both found hilarious. Wendi informed us we had pretty much the exact same reaction when we were last at the Excalibur two year's ago. 

Then we started the long ramble back home. Long ramble punctuated by occasional stops to look at yet more sparkly jewelry. For about the zillionth time, both husband and wife secretly wished V could have joined us.  

Though it only was 10:00ish, we all decided to call it a night. 

Sunday 

Today was my one walk-about day. I left about 8:00 and just got back at 2:00. Not sure where the rest of the Hardys are. Once again, she's not answering her phone. 

It feels good to put the feet up. I bought one bling'd out hoodie that Wendi looked at lovingly yesterday. Hope I caught the right signal. And gambled a tiny bit and had a bit of lunch. But mostly I just traveled. By my count, I visited 13 different casinos/resorts. Three of these were completely new to me. 
Without the family, I made really good time. I wasn't in any particular hurry to be anywhere but I can't help but want to get there in a timely fashion. I found my brisk pace, sun glasses, cargo shorts, AC/DC t-shirt and head phones were enough to repel anyone trying to hand me something or sell me something. Clearly, the Middle-Aged Beavus Look works for me. 

.......

(Monday Morning. Now at Gate E15, waiting for the flight. At least another 45 minutes to go. X's playing on the Kindle and Wendi is doing some last minute slot machines. This is really the only gambling she has done this trip.)

Wendi and Xander arrived late afternoon yesterday. She had purchased a few Wonderful Things and he had bargained a trip to the pool and a buffet out of the experience. The boy knows 'is 'aggling!

After these diversions, and some research on-line, we decided on the buffet at Caesar's. It was a bit later than usual for dinner so we weren't expecting too big a line....

....'Cause we were dunderheads! We couldn't even see the buffet from where we standing! After moving roughly 5' in 30 minutes, we decided on Plan B; which at that point was simply "Not stand in this f'ing line all night!" Bally's was close and had a SteakHouse. We like steak. Onward! 

It was wonderful. It was a quiet place with wonderful food but it's top selling point was our waiter. He was funny, quick with the orders, told us great stories and Xander corny jokes. You don't realize how crummy most waiters/waitresses are until you encounter someone who has made a career of it. This was his 39th year in the business. Sadly, new management was taking over soon and he doubted they'd want an old guy like him. Their loss if that's the case. That may have also been the reason he brought us free drinks and seemed to have no desire to hurry us on our way. 

The $60 tip was mostly a reflection of our appreciation for a job well done. And that we ended up ordering a crap-ton of items off the menu. (Again, a tribute at least as much to him as the fine food.)
We waddled home and called it a night.  
....

And now I am in seat 27 C getting ready for take-off. We're all together this trip. Two hour flight and then a long drive home. Good to be back. Love this crazy town but it's a bit too much of nearly everything: spending, eating, drinking, gawking, etc.  Granted, that's sort of the whole point of this state but 4 days is plenty. 

Last night, it was filet mignon and cocktails. Tonight is chili and rice night. I know which one will be better for me. :)

And a decent night's sleep. THAT will be a reward nearly on par with anything Sin City has to offer. 

Nearly.

Time to power down. In more ways than one.

Mr. B.

Xander's Excellent Adventure - Las Vegas

7/12/2011

Author's Note: This is a long, rambling, barely coherent description our recent (6/30-7/4) trip to Las Vegas. For those of you with better things to do, here is a brief synopsis; we went, had fun, and returned.

Those with time to kill, let the show begin.

-Friday-Late Afternoon-

It's late afternoon Las Vegas time. We have been here just over 24 hours. We Hardys are taking a break. Wendi is in the

bedroom trying (most likely in vain) to take a nap. Xander is out with me in the living room listening to the audiobook, "Return to Hooowliday Inn" and, what's that I see? Ah, yes! He has the beginnings of a fort. Who had hour 26 in the pool? I should be takin a nap (I mean, it's not like I'll ever see 42 again.) But naps and I don't really mix so it's writing you all instead.

D and V, friends from Colorado who are staying with us a few days, are out galivanting around town. We’re all meeting at the Venetian to see the Blue Man Group tonight in about an hour.

Maybe just 10 minutes of sleep. Wish me luck.

Okay, I actually did fall asleep for well over 10 minutes, the result of which meant that Xander, Wendi and I had to semi­ sprint to the Venetian, where the ever-patient (or at least good at faking it) D&V awaited us.

Wendi and I watched this show back in the early aughts but we did not have a 7 year old with us at the time. Xander spent most of the show with his mouth open and commenting on the action. WE spent most of the show asking him what he thought of the show and telling him to stop kicking the seat in front of him. His verdict?

"It was okay."

"OKAY?"

Time for him to work on synonyms!

A fun bit happened before the show. We were sitting in the auditorium waiting for the show to begin and there was a billboard flashing humorous messages to audience members. Well, one of them said, "…Seems Wendi Hardy is

suffering from a headache...… Can we help her get relief?" (Much cheering from all.)

She (well, everyone in the theatre) was then instructed to imagine the headache as a cow and then chopping the cow up and handing the headache-cow bits to all her friends. "Now, don't you feel better, Wendi?"

For the record, she was not suffering from any sort of ailment before the show. AFTER the show...… ?

Finally, when her name first popped up, she turned to me and asked if this was my doing. A better man, husband and father would have lied right then and there AND been able to pull off. (In the 1.19 seconds before answering, I realized I was the 2nd part that would trip me up.)

Last note on Blue Man. (No, really!) Do NOT ask to be seated after the show starts. Unless you are a glutton for punishment.

Okay, we men are going out to a carnivore’s lunch so I'd best get going. Actually, Wendi and V long ago demanded a girls' day out so we abandoned boys are going to hit the town. Our own Two and a Half Men without the laughtrack and much more eating.

Chow!

-Late Saturday Night-

Wendi is in the bedroom reading with Xander: "Wiley and Grandpa's Creature Feature". It's a very irreverent series of chapter books and Xander loves them. D and V are just getting back from seeing "Mystere"; one of the 142 different Cirque du Soleil shows in production here.

-Slightly Later-

Wendi is asleep and Xander is watching his new Mack King DVD. Mack King was the magician Xander and I saw this afternoon. Blue Man may have a laser show, a huge million dollar stage and guys with blue heads but Mack pulled goldfish out of his mouth and fig newtons out of his fly. It was no contest. Xander now wants to learn magic so his one purchase for the day was The Lunchbox O' Magic.

Truth be told, Mack's show was awesome for the 40ish set also. Highly recommended. I recently read a book on magic and Mr. King figured prominently in it so I figured I'd see through all of his tricks. Or at least a few. One. Just one would have been nice but the man is a Master. And he was pretty darn nice to us after the show. Xander could have worse role models.

As of today, I have gambled a whopping $1.25. That's even less than my usual but my initial foray Thursday night put The

fear of God into me. Xander and I were walking through the Las Vegas Hilton on our way back to the Hilton Grand Vacation Condominiums. All that night, Xander was begging, pleading and conniving to play one of the 1,209 slot machines we passed by. Minors are allowed to walk through a gaming area but not linger. I explained that the fine folks at the Nevada Gaming Commission frowned upon 7-year olds gambling. (Stupid, Freedom-Hating Politicians!) So my son changed  tactics by asking if he could just watch ME play one of the sparkly, shiny, ringing machines. Just One Time. Puh-lease?!? Against my better judgement, I told him to kind of keep walking slowly as I very quickly put ONE quarter into A Lord of the  Rings Slot Machine.

Out Of Nowhere, this kindly old security guard materializes beside me to tell me, in a very disappointed voice, that that child can NOT be here. And then he probably went to sell the security tape to "America's Lamest Dads".

Xander, of course, did not choose to fess up his culpability at that time. Way to throw the Old Man overboard, son.

So, my taste for gambling has dwindled a bit as I am sure the kindly old guard (I think of him as Saruman with Mace.) is lurking about, ready to bust me for the slightest infraction. Safer to spend my time at all these lovely LV buffets.

More later. Must sleep.

Adios.

Happy 4th of July!

My alarm isn't going off for another 30 minutes so maybe I can finish this turkey. Thanks for sticking with it this far.

Our flight leaves at 11ish so we have 4 hours to officially wake up, get packed, straighten up the place slightly (I know, I know but Wendi can't help herself.) and get through airport security. As today is a holiday, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict there won't be a huge amount of traffic. Just us crazy goof-balls trying to save on airfare. It'll be good to be home.

Especially as we Washingtonians are familiar with/prepared for this thing called 'rain'.

We Hardys spent most of the day (after saying a fond farewell to D and V) tramping about the south end of the strip: MGM, Excalibur, Luxor and Mandalay Bay. Xander was not as impressed with the giant pyramid that is the Luxor but he sure liked the tiny stuffed animal he won at the Excalibur video game arcade. Sigh.

Early evening, we started heading home via the monorail, getting on at the MGM terminal. This stop is the southern end of line and Hilton is at at the northern end: about a 12 minute trip normally. As we walked out to get onto the tram and could finally see, you know, the outside, we realized that the sunny, bright day had been replaced with rain. Not just rain but a deluge with loads of thunder and lightning thrown in.

Well, I guess the Las Vegas Monorail isn't really designed to handle such outlandish occurrences because it took this opportunity to stop working. Not completely as that would have forced us to suck it up and get a taxi. (Or at this point, one of the Venetian's gondolas would've worked better.)

No, our initial trip included zipping right passed the Bally's stop and then coming to a rather shuddering stop at the Flamingo. Then reversing back to the MGM. A lot of trips forward and then back to the MGM. And the Monorail cars getting more and more crowded with impatient people whose yard-long drinks were running dry. An unfun situation.

All in all, it took us over an hour to get back. We weren't in any huge hurry ourselves; no shows to get to so we were only slightly inconvenienced. (And buying that Yard AND A HALF long drink was looking pure genius at that point.)

The only saving graces were that we saw some amazing lightning and by the time we reached the Hilton, the rain had just about ceased. And it got below 100 degrees for a short period. Small favors.

Much Later. Alaskan Airlines Flight 601 Seat 26A

Ah... Homeward Bound. This flight seems to consist mainly of foreign tourists who are somewhat confused by the "seating arrangement" thing. And staying in your seat in general. We'll survived but it is a very full flight. So full that the Hardy Family isn't sitting together. Row 26 seats E,D and A. The two Taiwanese ladies sitting next two are very nice and they offered me a cookie. Xander looks very sad that he is not sitting by the window. Wendi looks very ready to strangle him.

When I asked her if she wanted to sit by herself or with him...there was a bit of long pause. Cramped next to some potential loud-mouthed, smelly dude for 2+ hours or next to her pride and joy. Hmmmm.

This being Xander's first plane trip/vacation, I would say that he did okay. He would have been left behind in Las Vegas if we hadn't brought the books, audiobooks and DVDs. They gave us some time somewhat to ourselves. (And I am sure D and V just loved watching all those "River Monster" episodes.)

This town is basically designed to overload the the senses and Xander's filters are not well developed. EVERYTHING is worthy of attention except, perhaps the pedestrian he just bumped into. Or his parents' command to "Slow Down!"

By the final day, he had learned to wait a moment when the elevator doors opened to see if anyone was exiting. Then he would leap in.

Xander never quite let go of his fear of stepping on "the crack" so he usually had a herky-jerky motion while walking in the casinos. And occasionally he felt like doing a little sande as we walked. (And we did a ton of walking every day.)  This was his response to whatever music was blasting at us but I fear my covert attempts to video him never captured the magic. Just use  your imagination.

In terms of how we old farts did, that's hard to say. Clearly, bringing a wee one changes any vacation. Would another place have been different? Hard to say.

The HGV Condos gave us a quiet, out of the way home base. We really expected Xander to spend more time swimming but on day one, he saw a dead bee floating the water. Swimming lost its charm after that.

Get this, in Las Vegas, they put their pools On the Outside! Weird...

I suspect he would have done slightly better had we gone with our initial plan of a week in San Diego. (It was all booked up by the time we attempted to make reservations.) but who knows? I heard they keep the San Diego Beach outside so Xander may have come across another dead bee or who knows what. A whole ocean-closed.

If (when) we all return, Xander MIGHT be more willing to walk with us instead of ahead of us. May give the bee pool another chance. Hope so.

No matter where we go, however, he WILL be required to wear that bright yellow, easily spotted hat. At least another few years. 20, say.

Anything else? Having a camera on you at all times is good but not great. I actually had two on me pretty much all the time (cell phone and iPod Touch) but two barely adequate cameras does not equal a good camera. (Re: Xander's happy dances.)

Finally, cucumber water. I know! WTH, right?!? It's sliced cucumbers in ice water. Despite my dislike for the vegetable, I always stopped by the cravat* in the lobby of the Hilton for a few glasses. Couldn't get enough of it. Magic of Sin City, I guess.

We seem to be descending towards Sea-Tac so I really had better finish this turkey up. It'll go into the Internet Tubes when we get home.

Again, thanks for reading this far. Hope you enjoyed it.

Adios, amigos!

B.

(*Is that the right word for a crystal jug for serving water? Or is that what swanky guys wear around their necks?)

Big Valley Fun 2010

4/2/2021

Sure wish these folks would get wi-fi. Logging into my wavecable account takes forever and is spotty. Like just yesterday when I wrote you all a delightful description of the previous day’s excitement. A fabulous bit of writing that wavecable managed to lose. You’ll have to use your imagination. Whatever drivel is below; yesterday’s was ten-times better.

Enough grumping. Yesterday, the boy and I come over to the Valley; boy this can be a dull drive while the North Cascades Highway is closed. All the excitement of driving along the Columbia River without the thrill of Christmas at the Ranch. (That’s the only other time we don’t take the NC Highway.) But Xander needs to know his grandparents so this spring break trip. And it’s probably a good thing. Harold is quite wheezy at the smallest physical exertion. I noticed it while we were feeding the cows yesterday.

According to Harold, it’s all Hitler’s fault.

Back in the day, a young and healthy Iowan named Harold signed up to kick some NAZI BUTT and while “Over There!”, he contracted a brief case of rheumatic fever. For the next 60-some years, the illness lay dormant, ready to attack at the slightest sign of weakness, and according to Harold, that time is now. Hence, his weakened heart. Now, most guys in their late 80s have less than perfectly healthy hearts, even without such a history of illness but if Harold wants to claim it as a war wound earned while saving young Parisian Damsels from Fascist Tyranny, well, I won’t gainsay.

Wendi and college friend Vickie got here on Saturday and had some family friends over for one of Tina’s blow-out swar-ays (just sound it out, okay?) with top-notch food and wine.

On the other side of the state, the boy and I had leftovers and watched a “Mythbusters” rerun. I’m just saying.

So far today, we ate a large breakfast, (anyone surprised?) and then Xander and I went to the big metropolises of Winthrop and Twisp. Probably the highlight was going to the Winthrop Fish Hatchery and getting to feed the trout. Good times, good times. I actually worked there one summer back in the 80s so I thrilled the boy with tales of how things used to be.

After the thrill of fish, we swung by the old Ranch House as Xander wanted to pick up an old toy from the TV Room.  I told him it probably wasn’t there as Tina has spent the last 3 months cleaning the place out and doing a fairly good job at it. But I wanted to swing by there also so we went. Still a bit of stuff but it’s just about empty. There were two lamps I snagged for my classroom. That’s about it.

I think Xander got a little scared from it being so empty so we left pretty quickly.

(A wonderful scene is in front of me just outside the Office window. Xander found this cowboy hat in his room and has been wearing it all day; telling everyone we encountered about it. Tina probably found it while cleaning out the old house but nobody but a six-year-old would call it a cowboy hat. It’s basically the correct shape but it’s made out of green felt and has a pimpin’ rainbow feather sticking out of the band. Now, he and Tina are going to drive down to the River to have a picnic and with the weather being cool at best, Xander needed a coat. What does Grandma provide? A brown fur coat which is ankle-length on him. Ankle-length fur coat. Green felt hat. This doesn’t remind me so much of a cowboy hat as more of a midnight cowboy hat. I’ll ask Vicky to take a picture [or twenty].}

Speaking of our special child, Wendi told us a funny (if disturbing) story about him from late last week. Thursday morning, she was in a huge hurry and didn’t have time to get Xander a snack before before-school care. She told him to go downstairs to get something to eat. Quickly. A few minutes later, she comes downstairs to walk in on him standing at the counter eating a stick of butter. A stick of butter. How…. American of him. Despite his saturated fat-fogged mind, Xander was able to deduce that this wasn’t what Mommy would consider a “snack”. With some difficulty, he offered to extrude the mouthful of the stuff back onto the stick. She demurred. Some people.

Sure hope the organ-cloning technology is coming along ‘cause I know one fellow who will need a new heart about 20 years after he gets his own spending money (and away from his no fun parents).

Of the Wife, she and her friend are in Winthrop shopping. Not sure for what but she’s been very definite that she is here to do WHATEVER she wants. It’s her girls’ road trip and Xander is completely my responsibility. I think I need to get me one of those Guy Road Trip things. What say you, men?

Well, this is all I can think of now. Xander and I will be heading home tomorrow. Back to the grind. Wendi won’t be back till Friday. If you wish to reply (for some reason), please do so at the wavecable account. Harold gets too much email already. Hope to see you soon.

Brian

Las Vegas 2001

04/05/2001

Dad,

  Sorry I missed you yesterday. At 4:00 on Wednesday, the Wife and I were sitting at Gate A27 in the LV airport. Naturally, we would have rather been home as the plane was three hours late. :(

 Thanks for the Xmas gift btw. It looks great on the deck. 

  Thus ends our second honeymoon in the Biggest Little Town in the World. As was the case originally, Wendi left slightly more enamored of the city than I did but I still had a good time. 

 Again, we stayed at the Mirage though in just a regular room this time. We saw some shows, did less shopping and gambled a bit. Wendi's the bigger gambler among the two of us but between us, we won/lost no more than $300 over 4 days; Vegas hates people like us. 

The shows we saw were "Tournament of Kings" at the Excalibur, which was an extremely cheesy medieval shindig with jousting, sword play and mediocre food. It was something we had to go to and now never have to go back. The other show was "Blue Man Group" at the Luxor (the pyramid-shaped casino). You've seen the Blue Men (Mans?) in the Pentium IV commercials. They are 3 dudes dressed in all black who are bright blue from the neck up (Hence, the name.)

  The BM Group rocked! While it's very difficult to describe. it was a lot of humor, music, and stuff flying into the audience. (The first 5 rows were all loaned rain gear.) My description does not do it justice but it was a blast. 

The other rides we went on were "Race For Atlantis" which we went through 3 times back in '98 and "The Star Trek Experience". The latter was much like "Tournament" in that we had to go and now never have to go back. The Star-Trek themed restaurant was cool, though. 

I'm assuming that you've been to LV (though I don't think Jeff or Steve) so I won't go into what an odd place it is. Huge crowds, insane traffic, mammoth buildings, construction omnipresent, litter everywhere. That was probably what was most offensive to me. On most street corners on "The Strip" are bored looking people passing out flyers-usually to striptease shows. The flyers get looked at for half a second and then thrown upon the grounds so where ever you walk, photos of semi-nude women are  littering up the place. (So to speak.)

All the tourist brochures talk about how Vegas is now a family place but for the life of me, I can't imagine bringing a kid down here. 

It was my hope to get some work done down here (GradClass or employment) but we ran out of time and the laptop is just too bulky. Brother Steve would be so ashamed. But mostly, it was just lack of time. Always too much to do. One thing we did was have dinner twice with P. She was down there on business. Granted, P is fun to be with and between writing it off as a business expense and buying for Wendi's birthday,  we got two free meals out of it but it an idea nagging at us was that we didn't fly down here to hang out with the regular cast of relatives we see all the time. 

 Fortunately, we have a few days left of break to actually relax and recover from our vacation. It often seems that unless we are eating the Best meals of our lives, seeing the most Fabulous shows, gambling most Outrageously, Wendi feels she didn't get our money's worth. (She's still complaining about never having gotten room service.) I tell ya; it was a lot of pressure to have so much fun. 

One reason we (she) she didn't gamble that much was that we bought a time share condo. Yep, on April 2nd, 2001, at about 5:03 PM, we became very middle-aged. Probably start looking at mini-vans tomorrow. Well, it seemed a good idea at the time and now perhaps we can take vacation on a more regular basis than one every 3 1/2 years. (The condo itself is in Miami but there are thousands of resorts/condos we can exchange it for returning to LV or Hawaii or even save up lots of points to visit Europe.)

 Anyway, even in the reasonable, non-glittering air of Silverdale, it still seems like a good idea but we are also still amazed that boring old Brian and Wendi would do something so rash, so spur of the moment as to plunk down $12K to ensure future fun, fun, fun. Only in LV.

 (On the plus side, P and D recently plunked down nearly that much on motorcycles so we're still up on Harold and Tina Brownie Points.)  Still, we ended up spending a ton of money in Vegas yet not spending much on anything in terms of daily entertainment. A small black cloud. 

 Because I didn't get much done during the first half of Spring Break, now I've got to try to make up for it so it's off to work for the next four days. Besides which, with Wendi off work the rest of the week also, it's be at work or get stuff added to my "honey do" list. Such is the life of a middle aged man...

 Swing by if you are ever in town again. It's doubtful we'll be out of state again and would love to show you all the little we've done with the place. Steve, Gregg, same goes to you and I guess Jeff also.

Take care,

Brian